Writing Life

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Writing reminds me of a river ever changing, flowing in different directions, strong enough to cut stone, yet gentle enough to spill over rocks and be a still water you can see a clear reflection in. It is subjective, commanding, and encouraging. Writing is a simile for life in some ways, the difficulties, the beautiful moments, and the many mistakes.

It is a cliché to state that writing is displaying your heart in black and white on a page to be read and criticized for all eternity, if you publish. But it is nonetheless.

Sharing your emotions on a page is a brave act and one that should be celebrated. If we were to personify the writing process, then writing is the heart, editing is the brain, and marketing is the sanitary system. All jokes aside, writing is not for the weak-minded or the lazy.

My latest writing project started when I was in the darkest of places and had fallen to the bottom of a sinkhole, figuratively—not literally. I took my feelings of frustration and heartbreak, and my innermost thoughts of despair, and laid them bare in a few scenes in my notes app on my phone. I then started talking to my friends, remembering moments of despair from loved ones, and even thought about times when people I cared about were betrayed and forgotten.

This is how Molly’s story began. The beach has always been a healing place for my soul, my home. So, of course, I made her place of solace and comfort the same as mine: the Emerald Coast.

The metaphors and descriptions of people are both figments of imagination and remnants of those I know and love. I fell in love with Molly and her story. Then, as I fell apart, people surrounded me and reminded me I wasn’t alone. So I created them as best friends for Molly, and their stories grew, and I realized this was how I would heal and, hopefully, help others who may have suffered as I did.

Writing Beach Besties Revelation has been incredibly healing and reminded me that by writing, I can get through anything and that, of course, just like Molly, I am never alone.

The Process of Becoming You

Grief is not just felt because of the death of a loved one; it is the death of a relationship or an idea. Despite knowing you are making the right decision in life, the ending or the death of what you once had or believed is just as heart-wrenching and piercing as actually losing someone. Why?

You lose pieces of yourself in the process. Pieces break off and float away in the wind or turn to ash in an instant, and everything you thought or knew is wrong or robbed from you.

You become numb, you replay conversations, second-guess your choices, and you grieve the loss of something that was an integral part of yourself.

Tears of disbelief, anger, sadness, and even remorse flood your eyes because it was a part of you, regardless of whether it needed to be stripped away or not. Pruning is not a pleasant experience, and as the old parts of you peel off, detonate like a bomb, or simply disappear, it matters. 

The tears, the rage, the quiet moments, or the loud music reverberating in your ears as you dance it out are all part of the process.

The process of becoming you.